HEAR YEE... HEAR YEE!
COME FORTH AND BE WITNESS TUH DIS PARIA PARODY!
It is said that a picture tells a thousand words.
Let us examine some of these words that an imaginary picture framed in your own mind tells.
Then let me know if any of my words accurately represents those thousand words that are supposed to be told in this picture. If I am wrong please add your comments and make the necessary corrections so that I will not be accused of deliberately misrepresenting the facts imagined.
The story behind this picture is entitled: "Rescue Mission! Dem Tong Gyul Cyar Take Richardson Wood!"
Some people doh know how tuh behave deyself wen dey go in de bush!
Dey reel harden yuh know!
Dey does go off de trail, an wah dey get, it good fuh dem!
Many does behave like bachac! Dey does kyar leave de damn plants in de bush right wey dey meet it.
Some ah dem tong oman anh dem does tink dat ah roseau is a rose.
Boyh if yuh hear how dey does bawl wen dey geh ah good prick in de bush!
Dah woudnt ah happen if dey keep dey damn farse self on de trail!
Dem who eh looking tuh disturb de forest plants, does be looking fuh sticks anh stones!!
Dey say dey wah to bring back de ole time days. Dey want tuh trow way dey stove!
Boyh if yuh hear how dem big oman an dem does bawl fuh help wen Richardson geh dem plenty wood in de bush anh dey cyar take de load!
Dai is why ah ha tuh worry about dem young tong gyul!
Look at KREW Man Richardson anh dat lovely KREW Woman in de picture in yuh mind.
Yuh could see dat she is ah tong gyul!
Anh yuh know Richardson... he is ah reel bush bug!
Wen yuh come in de bush anh is wood yuh want... Richardson loaded!
Now...Watch dah oman good, reel good... Wha yuh reely tink she lookin for in dis forest?
Now, look at Richardson, de bush bug... watch him good!... yuh tink he go want tuh help she tuh geh wat she want?
Yuh see me.. leh me puh ah stop to dat right now!
I doh want nobody tuh blame me when wood start to pass like rain in dah forest and de load geh too heavy tuh bear!
Anh I know Richardson, yuh know.
Wen it come tuh hee wood, he reel reel badmine!
Richardson doh ha no mercy on nobody yuh know... he does only give wet wood!
He wood so wet anh heavy dat yuh does ha tuh roll it out de forest.
Dai is why Richardson wood is known around de world as de... "Heavy Roller!"
Jes go in any encyclopedia or on de internet, an look up for de meaning of de word "heavy roller", yuh go see ah picture ah Richardson proudly displaying he wood.
Yea, he does look tame, buh he nuh lame!
Anh I doh tink dat da poor woman could carry dah load dat Richardson ha fuh she!
Is ah good ting she wid de KREW Active Vacation.
This all inclusive tour ha Explorer Protector to help she to geh hospital admission if she cyar take de load anh geh damage anh need immediate admittance without any down payment.
Buh prevention is better dan cure...ent?
So dah plan in dey mine ha tuh stop right now!
So right now leh meh start meh rescue mission in de Paria forest!
Aye! Allyuh behave allyuh damn self dey! Yuh hear!
Allyuh tink dat ah doh know wat on allyuh mine... I eh tupid yuh know... anh allyuh didn come here fuh dat!
Yuh see de two ah allyuh. Ah watchin how allyuh bad bad bad...
De place way allyuh is, de smile on she face, an de distance how de two ankles ah she feet spread out wide apart... dem tings is sines dat does sell out allyuh intentions!
Ah may be ole, buh I eh no damn fool!
Aye, wen ah bring allyuh tuh de KREW's Active Vacation remember tuh follow de rules anh doe go off de trail.
Ah warnin allyuh again... allyuh behave allyuh damn self here!
Allyuh go see... Ah goh watch allyuh every move on de trail, jes like how ah coboe does watch ah sick dog!
i am very hurtful about this i cannot even finish "READING IT". it is ah shame.
TO ARKS OR NOT TO ARKS… AH QUESTION!
“Yuh eh fine dat de place geh back reel quiet boyh?
Ah jes ha ah funny feeling dat someting cookin… yuh eh smellin it… it smellin like something bubblin under ah wood fire?
Boyh de odda day dem gyul anh dem geh meh some reel good wood fuh so!
No, is not dat I eh ha no stove…
It look like ah say someting dat dey eh like.
Boyh ah jes arks ah question about wat ah see in de bush.
Yuh know de ole people does say, ‘wen yuh see smoke look out fuh fire’; ent?
Well, somebody show meh smoke in de forest anh ah ask dem tuh check it out wid me to see if de forest ketch ah fire.
Wen we reach de spot, it already had two KREW members huggin, smiling, takin deh pictures wid de smoke in de background ah dey shot.
So ah tell dem about de dangers of of leaving de trail anh woodfires in de forest.
Ah decide tuh puh fear in deh heart fuh being so careless wid deyself. So ah geh dem ah few folktales to serve as graphic examples of how som oddder people did get dehself badly hurt in de forest in de past. After dat, ah put out de smoke, ah tell dem to leave anh come wid meh. Anh ah promise dem dat ah go look after dey welfare until dey come out ah de forest.
Yuh know as a leader, yuh does hav tuh be stern wen dealin wid some ah dem young people nowadays. Anyway, ah didn see anymore smoke or fire after dat.
Well papayoeh, yuh see wat ah do dey, nobody supported me wid dat!
All de res ah de KREW members geh reel vex wid meh!
Deh say ah casting aspersion on dey KREW Woman.
Yuh see, is me anh meh big mout, ah ha tuh arks dem gyul wah dey tink about wat ah see.
Not only dat, tupid me, ah tink dat among ourselves in de KREW, we could feel free tuh discuss all kinda tings like relations anh how tuh handle different circumstances anh ting, yuh know. As ah group we should tink ahead, be open wid one anodda, so dat we could help one anodda tuh grow stronger an be betta prepared fuh de trials anh tribulations of de world.
So ah decide tuh arks dem tuh give deh own different opinion ah de different ways dat anybody could tink about or explain wat we see in de scene dat we meet wid de smoke in de bush.
I start off firse by givin ah opinion, anh use de opportunity tuh create ah teachin moment, fuh de KREW, so dat ah could teach simple tings like de dangers of goin off de trail wen yuh on ah hike, de value ah de Explorer Protector if yuh geh damage, anh how committed the KREW is to protectin its members from harm wen on de Active Vacation. Yuh know, ah wanted tuh show dem youn people modda anh fadda dat dey chirren does be reel safe wen dey wid we; we doh leh no nonsense take place!
A reelly thought dat we woulda ha plenty conversation about de many different ways dat de picture could be interpreted, in de situation wen dem KREW members was near de smoke in de bush.
Boyh, de most important ting, is dat ah reelly wanted tuh liff de level ah de intellectual input in de conversation dat we does hav wid one anodda, tuh ah level dat is much higher dan wat does happen on facebook. For de most part Facebook is about mundane tings like what yuh had fuh dinner, giving complements about trivialities, anh shallow discourse dat needs only one or two lines ah text dat gives you little value tuh help your tuh meet de challenges ah life!
Boyh ah didn’t realize dat de KREW was supposed tuh be ah place dat is disconnected from de reel worl and de only experience dat we would ha wid one anodda is to always say only nice tings.
Boyh ah didn realize dat we supposed to pretend dat bad tings does not happen, an we mus leff each odda to face de more challenging tings ah life, all by weself.
De ole people does say, tink before yuh ack.
So ah tought dat dis would be ah opportunity to discuss de different ways tuh look at tings, so dat members could avoid mistakes in life, like de way odders might misunderstand yuh intentions.
So da situation an de picture was ah perfect opportunity tuh capture dis teachin moment anh raise de level a intellectual discourse. This is ah golden opportunity tuh promote, in reel life, de application ah de firse Philosophy of Life ah de KREW; which is: ‘be aware…!’
Boy it look like I shoudda tink a little more before I ack dat day anh arks any question or tell any story tuh show de dangers of goin off de trail.
It look like wen ah try tuh raise de level ah de conversation, dem gyul an dem, dey geh ah feelin dat ah did only want tuh badtalk one ah dey KREW Woman.
Boyh ah geh licks like peas!
Is wood fuh so! Ah geh wood all over meh tail!
Yuh know me, ah jes like ah pothound. Ah bad only wen ah in meh yard!
Boyh wen ah geh wood in meh tail so, ah try tuh run out ah dah Paria forest quick quick quick; ah run like if tartoo jep runnin meh dong! I eh even lookin back!
Ah try tuh geh back tuh de safety ah meh yard tuh take time out tuh lick meh wounds.
Buh on meh way out ah de forest, ah meetup wid one ah dem gyul who does always be reel serene… she was lookin reel Ire, so ah thought dat as ah did getaway from de res ah dem ah was on meh way home.
Not so nuh!
Boyh, ah do know way she geh dah piece of hard wood from, buh she planass meh arse reel good.
Boyh, she res so much big plank on meh tail dat ah had tuh use Explorer Protector tuh geh in de hospital!
Dah cut arse in de bush make meh fine out dat dem gyul anh dem reely know how to handle all kina wood boyh!
Deh geh meh it hard, sorf, dry, wet, you name it, dey geh me good!
It ha ah ole sayin dat wen ah man res wood on yuh witout mercy, shame on he…
Anh wen ah woman res wood on yuh witout mercy, it mus be because yuh do something wrong; shame on you!
Boyh de way dey drop it on meh ah feel like ah geh ah good tase ah de heavy roller!
An I eh feel dat dey done wid meh yet, yuh know! Wen ah tink about dah licks dem does give, ah does tremble!
Since de cut arse, ah does see dem does be passin by meh yard everyday…
Dey jes watchin meh lickin meh wounds anh dey eh sayin nottin.
Yuh know dat wen woman stayin quiet, is trouble dey cookin fuh yuh! Help!!!
Anyway one lesson ah learn, is tuh be reel careful wid dem KREW Woman an dem!
Dey could be more sensitive dan a toothache wen yuh want tuh sleep in de nite!
Anh wen dey gang-up on yuh, yuh ded!
Here is anodda ting dat ah lean from dat experience; ‘wen pothound get outa ehe yard, doh puh ehe mout in de village business!’
Anh yet anodda ting dat ah learn is that de KREW does live like famalee.
Yea boyh! I ha plenty proof ah dat on meh back! Emm hmm!
From de way dey drop it on meh tail, ah could certify dat dai is true… yes deh does live like famalee!
Yuh know dat wen yuh farda beatin yuh, he does gee yuh all yuh licks one time, anh den stop.
Buh wen yuh modda beatin yuh, she does ha tuh tell yuh sometin wid every lash, ent!
Boyh wen dem gyul drop deh wood on meh, deh talk tuh meh like if dey is meh modda!
From de damage dat ah geh from taking all dah wood all over meh body, it look like some ah dem gyul did hit meh wid wood much harder dan Richardson wood.
Ah wonda wey dey geh dem odder kinda wood from boyh… from back home by dem or wat?”
Boyh it look like dem gyul does geh vex widout end. Because jes de odda day, one ah dem even come in meh yard an res som hard wood on meh tail wen ah was likin meh wounds.
So yuh see, all ah dat show meh how challenging it go be tuh raise de level ah discourse in de KREW.
It look like people prefer not tuh tink, or dey prefer tuh tink emotionally; like what ah does call faith-based reasoning.
De challenge is how tuh get dem tuh geh logic anh reason ah chance firse! Anh wen dat fail or wen dey complete using it in deh contemplation anh planning, it is only den dat dey should depend on faith to complete de ‘journey’.
Buh yuh know me, dis ole pothound doh give up so!
No! Even though ah have meh own weaknesses, I eh go give up on meh people at all! Ah love dem too bad fuh dat!
Yuh see, de KREW is about personal growth despite setbacks in yuh life. De KREW is not ah cult. De KREW does not promote ah utopian existence, dat promises dat nothing bad go happen tuh yuh!
So de firse ting dat ah go ha tuh do, is dat ah ha tuh geh dem my side ah de story. Because it look like nobody geh de valuable lessons dat could be learned from de experience.
In de mean time, ah hope deh geh de lesson dat no type ah violence, even verbal violence is good fuh society! Dem scientis an dem does call dat verbal abuse, ent?
It is better tuh engage in meaningful dialogue tuh solve yuh problems! (Ok, ok, ah know dat yuh reserve de rite tuh geh reel darm vex ahn share some good wood every now anh again!)
Buh yuh see, de reel lesson here is dat it is nuh wha happen tuh yuh dat matters; it is how yuh respond tuh wha happen tuh yuh dat matters!
Dai is enough fuh now… so we go close here fuh now.
Look out for more KREW lessons that can be served from dis experience!
Coming soon at a 5 KREW Platform near you.
It must have been love but it seems like it’s over now for the People’s Partnership. Ah watching dem on the TV and reading abot dem in de papers, like de honeymoon is over and the marriage begins.
Since Marlene cross de floor to the UNC camp, Prakash lost face. Kamla getting she way on everything, truly woman is boss! Ah watchin how tings going and ah feelin like there is a thunder storm is in the making….i’m reel concerned, wat you tink, is my fears unfounded.
Georgi Gyal, I dont understand why d honeymoon period does hah to be so short. Imagine, down to dem politicians feeling the effects ah that too. But am afraid to say that, nowadays, marriage ent lasting long either, eh gyal. So we might hah to face d fact of separation or divorce (ah to sad).
I hope "we the children" of this marriage can make it through the cycle of the relationship. Cause not all ah we strong enough to handle the dispute in the home. Ah hope (mummy Kamla) gets wat she really wants. Ah hope she didnt sign no prenuptial agreement with that man (daddy Dookeran).
But Georgi gyal if dem eh wanna live good, and if dem wanna fight, it just shows that they ent care bout us children. So we hadda see bout we self. It a pity that ah go be in the thunder storm (yes), but ah making sure and take shelter.
So sibbling gyal, i support your fears and hope yuh looking to take shelter too.
Georgette girl…ah marriage goes through a lot of trials and tribulations…some come out stronger than ever and some ready to rip each other throat out…But ah like Prakash to bad….he is like d rebellious child….he ent taking NO from mummy kamla when she decided to change her mind about the Sando Mayorship…he going down fighting…
I would hope that this marriage isn’t heading for divorce, since the citizenship was excepting change when they voted for the People’s Partnership…..
"It must have been love but its over now". Georgette, by now u should realize the games these people are playing. "Crossing the floor", from one party to the next, thats what u call politics. At the end of the day, it was never love, it was over before it even begun. Dont be fooled by these politicians and the psychological and mental pressures they have been forcing upon the people of our nation. Shame on all politicians.
LIKE AH WAS DREAMIN… OR WAHT?
Pssst… aye… shoo! You… yes… you!
Yuh ha some time on yuh han? Come anh hear dis nah!
Come closer, ah wan tuh tell yuh ah l’il secret. Yuh go be amazed!
Buh before ah could tell yuh, ah wah yuh tuh promise meh dat yuh eh go tell nobody eh… right?!..... Good! Yea, yuh see… ah know dat ah coulda truss you!
Boyh, ah jes had ah strange dream!
Ah jes wake up wid ah high fever, anh ah wondering wedda wat ah dream was fuh reel; or wedda ah was jes hearing tings in meh sleep.
Yuh see, while ah was planning tuh tell my side ah de story as ah did promise de larse time, ah notice ah set ah dem gyul was gathering in front ah meh yard. So yuh know, as ah true pothound, wid dah crowd ouddey, I eh go leff de safety ah meh yard tuh go outside dey ahtall!
Not me! I doh want tuh ded!
Buh as ah was feeling so much pain anh sufferin from de licks dat dey did geh meh de odda day, ah went in meh bed tuh lie dong anh res.
Is look like ah fall asleep rite dey, yes!
It look like in meh sleep ah geh ah strange dream dah ha meh reel uncomfortable anh confused about wah goin on wid dem gyul anh dem ouddey.
Ah dream dat ah ole lady come from de grave tuh comfort meh from meh pain anh suffering.
Yuh see, wen ah was a chile still goin primary school, in de dry season ah used tuh go by de standpipe anh bring water anh full-up she barrels anh dem fuh she to cook, wash anh bathe. Sometimes ah used tuh go in de bush tuh geh wood and gee she. She used tuh like meh wood because it used tuh larse long in she chulha!
By de way, ah understan dat some ah dem yong people nowadays doh know about dat part ah deh cultural history. Dey only know about water runnin inside deh house, gas anh electric stove! Dey doh know dat it had ah time when everybody, including de boys anh de girls, used tuh go in de bush anh look fuh wood; anh in some parts ah de country dey used tuh go fuh cane too! Dai is de ole time days!
Anyway, ever so often dah ole lady used tuh tell meh dat she bless meh fuh de good dat ah does do fuh she. Wen ah come ah big man, ah get tuh realize dat de bess benefit ah geh fuh de good dat ah do, was dat she always used to geh meh plenty good advice about life. De KREW does teah yuh tuh be ah benefactor anh yuh does live ah betta life! De KREW ha something dey!
Ah remember ah time dat she tell me dat all kinda tings go happen tuh meh in meh life; buh doh worry! She say dat she blessings go protect meh, anh ah must always do good fuh people; God go bless meh!
She say dat in meh life, people go say all kinda evil tings about meh, buh if ah keep ah good hart, de truth go always come out in de light. She tell meh dat is not dat dem people full ah evil, yuh know.
She say dat everybody ha dey fault, anh dat if ah wan tuh be happy in life, ah mus forgive dem, because “dey know not what dey do!” She say dat dat was de larse message dat Jesus gee we tuh live by wen He was still alive anh dey was crucifying him on de cross. Anh He even arks God to forgive dem too; and so should me! She tell meh dat ah should always give from meh hart, anh forgiving is ah act ah giving. "Yuh givin yuhself peace ah mine!", she said tuh me. She say dat dai is why Jesus did tell we tuh forgive seventy times seven! Is you who go benefit!
One day, she tell meh dat she go give meh one ah de greatess ah de secrets ah life. She say:
“Whenever people say unjust anh untrue tings about yuh, it is dem same people who does be guilty ah de very same kinda tings dat dey does be sayin about yuh. De han ah de unjust is dirty!”
Den she hug meh, anh she puh she han on meh head, anh she kiss meh forrid, anh she say:
‘Son, wat ah jes tell yuh dey, is a secret ah life dat few people does know about. Anh wen people talk yuh bad unjustly, sometimes yuh doh ha tuh wait too long fuh dem tuh show dey faults. Jus be patient anh be vigilant! De sun does always come out anh shine brightly after de longest nite!”
Since ah was ah chile ah always used tuh take she advice.
Boyh, it look like dem ole people does reelly know wah dey does be talkin about, oui!
Yuh see, rite dey in meh dream, it look like dem gyul anh dem hear someting on de news dat make dem feel dat de whole worl goin tuh come tuh ah end!
So it look like dey geh dehself distracted from wah dey was planning tuh puh on meh tail; anh dey start tuh talk among deyself about wat goin on in dey life.
From what ah tink ah hear, it look like dey doh like wah goin on wid dem parliamentarian who runnin de country.
It look like dey wash dey mout black is white on Marlene, Kamla, Prakash, Dookeran, an all dem odda politicians anh dem. Ah even hear dey say dat Kamla anh Dookeran in ting; anh dey ha plenty outside chirren together! Ah hear Dey even disown dey own modda anh fadda, anh saying dat Kamla anh Dookeran is dey modda anh fadda, oui!
Yuh know dat dem gyul anh dem does take everyting very seriously. Dey does see only one side tuh ah story! Dey cyar lighten up anh take ah good joke ahtall. Dey cyar understand symbolism in words or de theatre being portrayed in ah picture dat somebody take together!
Dah mean dat every ting dat come outa dey mout must be taken literally. If ah picture tells ah thousand words, or if ah thousand words tell more dan one pictures, den is only de bad words anh bad picture dat dey eyes coud see or dey minds coud understand. Dat does happen tuh people wen dey understanding ah reality is limited tuh black or white. Dem scientis does call it ah myopic view ah life.
Dai is why dey doh understand dat Kamla strategy is nuh tuh muzzle de people mouts. Yuh eh see dah she condem using de big stick, as wat does happen when dem men does be de Prime Minister. She learn from de master, Eric Williams. When dem caiesonians anh dem hittin him hard in song, anh deh tink he go hit Chalkie wit ah hard wood in jail, Eric say, ‘Let de jackass bray!’ anh leave Chalkie alone. Eric lighten up anh take de joke in Chalkie’s melodic parody, anh nobody take Chalkie seriously. Kamla letting all ah dem talk so dat dey go self-regulate deyself anh feel good about deyself anh she coud lead dem betta!
De ole lady did tell meh dat in dis worl it ha some people who does be walkin around as if dey is ah walking bobboe foot. Dey feelings does always geh hurt reel easy! She say dat dey ha no emotional maturity in dey sole.
De KREW coud help dem get plenty more resilience tuh beat de stresses in life, anh tuh enjoy life. Buh dah will happen only if dey wan tuh live ah betta life! Yuh cyar make ah mule drink if ehe doh wan tuh!
In de KREW dem same people woud learn how tuh strengthen dey weak heart anh command dey life. Yea, dey woud learn how tuh make lemonade if life only play de fool wid dem anh geh dem ah lemon! De KREW go teach dem de strategy of wen tuh shed load, lighten up, anh jus enjoy de ride; have fun!
Now, I admit dat I is de larse one tuh talk about moral tings. Wid de licks ah geh, ah ha tuh agree dat dem gyul anh dem is de experts in dat. After all, jes de odda day, dey geh meh ah good cutarse fuh not observin dey teachings!
Buh somhow it seems as though ah remember dat dem gyul did tell meh dat it rong tuh cast ‘aspersions’ on people. Now, ah could be rong here, but tuh me ah believe dat dem gyul anh dem did say dat it not rite tuh say bad tings about people, especially wen de person not in ah position to respond to yuh wicked ‘aspersions’.
Again, ah could be rong, but ah believe dat one lesson dey did give meh wid de lickin, is dat dey wanted tuh make sure dat dis place must be ah place dat only ha high standards; anh we must only say good tings about people, so dat all members ah dis community anh even visitors to dis paradise will feel comfortable anh want to stay wid us.
So in meh dream ah started tuh wonda how de spouses ah Kamla anh Dookeran, and de supporters ah all ah dem political parties dat in de parliament, anh particularly de Peoples Partnership, wid feel about wat dem gyul saying, anh wedda dem parliamentarians anh dey supporters is nuh people too, anh who we wid wan tuh stay wid us in we nice l’il village dat is de KREW. Tuh me dai is ah lot ah people dat go feel dat we in de KREW casting aspersions on dem. Perhaps ah shouldn worry, because ah jes dreamin!
Anh den, who is me?
I jes ah pothound! Which pothound ha qualifications in matters ah morality anh decorum, tuh know about de dangers ah setting arbitrary morality standards dat coud cause everybody tuh frade tuh talk about anyting in dis very nice l’il utopian village, for fear ah hurting de tenda feelings of anodda?
Anyway, ah go ha to leave it like dat, because I is no moral police wid all de high moral credentials. Anh ah doh wan tuh be arong dey, when de moral police start tuh leggo wood like rain, wid deh baton!
Ah know dat woman is boss. Yea, dai is true! Yuh see how much pestle ah geh from dem gyul de odda day; jes fuh arksing ah tupid question about de different ways dat people could interpret ah picture!
So who is me? I is jes ah peewat of ah cockroach! Anh yuh know wah does happen wen cockroach geh too farse wid ehself anh decide tuh jump smack in de middle ah fowl party!?
Dai is de end ah meh dream. Now, ah reely want yuh tuh keep dah secret dat ah jes tell yuh, yuh know.
Doh run yuh darm mout anh tell nobody about dis dream, ok… because ah kyar say fuh sure wedda dem gyul reelly say what it seem dat dey might ah say, or if ah was only dreaming tupidness wid de high fever dat went tuh meh brain durin meh recovery from dah lickin ah geh in Paria.
Anh even if it was jes ah dream, ah still doh wuh dem tuh know wuh went on… because dem gyul cyar see no odda side of ah story buh de dread side. So ah doh wan tuh open meh big mout tuh say nottin, only fuh dem gyul tuh hear wat ah say, an den cut me arse again widout mercy.
Boyh whenever ah tink bout how dem does dish out deh wood, ah does tremble! De docta tell meh dat dem gyul geh meh Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Syndrome (PTSDS)! He say dat dem soldiers does geh dat wen dey see battle in ah war zone!
So ah beggin yuh please... Doh tell nobody wah ah jes tell yuh, yuh know! Keep dis ah secret between me anh you till we ded!
Anh ah hope dat yuh see dat even in meh dream, ah never accuse dem gyul wid practising double standard wid dey morals; wen dey cut meh arse for one ting, anh it look like dey do anodda! Dai is because ah doh reelly know wedda ah was dreamin or wedda ah was jes hearin voices in meh sleep.
So doh go out dey anh say dat I tell yuh nottin, yuh hear!
Because ah go say, ‘Yuh darm lie! Yuh casting aspersion on meh!’
Ah cyar take no baton, or pestle, or bilna, or any odda kinda wood from dem gyul!
Now dat ah fully awake, leh me geh back tuh planning tuh tell my side ah de story dat ah owe dem readers anh dem eh.